About this season
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane. It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles. The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
Episodes (6)
1. A Home of Your Own
Aired 8 November 1984
David and Lyn have moved to Canada. Simon needs to find someone to rent his flat quickly before his Aunt Eleanor moves in.
2. The Royal Connection
Aired 15 November 1984
Oliver attempts to gain the Royal Warrant for his shop from the Prince of Wales. Simon investigates his family tree in the hope of finding that he has blue blood.
3. Words and Music
Aired 22 November 1984
Oliver and Simon volunteer to perform at a Vet Circle luncheon for Caroline.
4. No Flame Like An Old Flame
Aired 29 November 1984
Simon's life becomes complicated when an old sweetheart pays him an unexpected visit.
5. Love's Neighbours' Lost
Aired 6 December 1984
Oliver and Simon duel over a woman, Caroline. But they find that there is another man vying for her affections.
6. Come Fly with Me!
Aired 13 December 1984
Following a recent spate of shop burglaries Simon installs a state of the art alarm system but when he forgets his passport breaks into the shop and sets it off, leading to his and Oliver's arrest.