Family Guy Season 3 poster

Family Guy — Season 3

Don't die laughing. We could get sued.

200122 episodes7.0/10 (644 votes)

About this season

In this hilarious third season, the Griffin family faces all-new dilemmas, including Brian's unintentional foray into directing porn, Stewie's rants on national TV, Meg's date with a nudist and Lois' Yuletide insanity. Meanwhile, Peter is surprised to discover Lois was once a groupie, and his son, Chris, is more "endowed" than he is.

Episodes (22)

The Thin White Line (1)
E1

1. The Thin White Line (1)

7.4

Aired 11 July 2001 • 23 min

Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.

Brian Does Hollywood (2)
E2

2. Brian Does Hollywood (2)

7.2

Aired 18 July 2001 • 23 min

Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.

Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
E3

3. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

6.8

Aired 25 July 2001 • 23 min

The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.

One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
E4

4. One If by Clam, Two If by Sea

6.5

Aired 1 August 2001 • 23 min

When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

And the Wiener Is...
E5

5. And the Wiener Is...

7.1

Aired 8 August 2001 • 23 min

Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.

Death Lives
E6

6. Death Lives

7.4

Aired 15 August 2001 • 23 min

After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.

Lethal Weapons
E7

7. Lethal Weapons

7.0

Aired 22 August 2001 • 23 min

New Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.

The Kiss Seen Around the World
E8

8. The Kiss Seen Around the World

6.4

Aired 29 August 2001 • 23 min

Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.

Mr. Saturday Knight
E9

9. Mr. Saturday Knight

6.9

Aired 5 September 2001 • 23 min

Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.

Fish Out of Water
E10

10. Fish Out of Water

6.4

Aired 19 September 2001 • 23 min

When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.

Emission Impossible
E11

11. Emission Impossible

7.4

Aired 8 October 2001 • 23 min

Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.

To Love and Die in Dixie
E12

12. To Love and Die in Dixie

7.3

Aired 15 November 2001 • 23 min

The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.

Screwed the Pooch
E13

13. Screwed the Pooch

6.8

Aired 29 November 2001 • 23 min

Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.

Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
E14

14. Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

7.0

Aired 6 December 2001 • 23 min

While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can’t quite get the hang of it. When Lois’ father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.

Ready, Willing, and Disabled
E15

15. Ready, Willing, and Disabled

7.0

Aired 20 December 2001 • 23 min

Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Brian fight over $26.

A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
E16

16. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

6.5

Aired 21 December 2001 • 23 min

Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus’ ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world’s children.

Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
E17

17. Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

7.0

Aired 17 January 2002 • 23 min

Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.

From Method to Madness
E18

18. From Method to Madness

7.0

Aired 24 January 2002 • 23 min

Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.

Stuck Together, Torn Apart
E19

19. Stuck Together, Torn Apart

7.1

Aired 31 January 2002 • 23 min

Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.

Road to Europe
E20

20. Road to Europe

7.2

Aired 7 February 2002 • 23 min

Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.

Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
E21

21. Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

7.1

Aired 14 February 2002 • 23 min

Viewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."

When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
E22

22. When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

6.7

Aired 10 December 2004 • 23 min

The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.

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