Very Mary-Kate — Season 1

Aired 31 January 2010 • 1 min

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

Aired 31 January 2010 • 1 min

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

Aired 31 January 2010 • 2 min

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

Aired 31 January 2010 • 2 min

I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

Aired 8 February 2010 • 2 min

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

Aired 1 March 2010 • 2 min

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

Aired 1 March 2010 • 2 min

I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

Aired 1 March 2010 • 2 min

I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

Aired 13 March 2010 • 2 min

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

Aired 4 April 2010 • 1 min

I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

Aired 4 April 2010 • 2 min

I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

Aired 11 April 2010 • 1 min

Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

Aired 11 April 2010 • 1 min

I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

Aired 18 April 2010 • 1 min

It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

Aired 18 April 2010 • 2 min

But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

Aired 26 April 2010 • 2 min

Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

Aired 29 April 2010 • 2 min

A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

Aired 3 May 2010 • 2 min

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

Aired 3 May 2010 • 2 min

Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?