About this season
The unofficial celebrity biography of Mary-Kate Olsen, brought to spoiled rotten life by Elaine Carroll. Featuring Bodyguard, Fat Professor, and obscene wealth.
Episodes (24)
1. Raise Your Hand
Aired 1 December 2011 • 3 min
I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.
2. Magazines
Aired 8 December 2011 • 2 min
Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.
3. Jetlag
Aired 15 December 2011 • 2 min
Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.
4. Santa
Aired 22 December 2011 • 3 min
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.
5. Presentation 4
Aired 6 January 2012 • 3 min
War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.
6. Jewish Looking Girl
Aired 12 January 2012 • 2 min
She’s a rock star of David.
7. Layers
Aired 19 January 2012 • 2 min
It’s freezing cold under all these layers.
8. Call My Phone
Aired 26 January 2012 • 3 min
Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.
9. Trenta
Aired 2 February 2012 • 2 min
Start the morning with a gallon of joe.
10. Evil Dragon
Aired 9 February 2012 • 3 min
It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.
11. Police
Aired 17 February 2012 • 3 min
I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.
12. Mug Shot
Aired 23 February 2012 • 3 min
Is this the duckface of a criminal?
13. Jail
Aired 8 March 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.
14. Dishwasher
Aired 15 March 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.
15. Pillow Talk
Aired 22 March 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.
16. Sex and Sexuality (Very Maggie Smith)
Aired 1 April 2012 • 3 min
Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.
17. Sleeping in Class
Aired 5 April 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.
18. Professor’s Presentation
Aired 12 April 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.
19. Slumber Party
Aired 19 April 2012 • 2 min
First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.
20. Pills
Aired 26 April 2012 • 3 min
Take once per day with a picture of food.
21. Comet
Aired 3 May 2012 • 2 min
Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.
22. Draw Something
Aired 10 May 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.
23. The Case of the Cracked Cup (Very Maggie Smith 2)
Aired 24 May 2012 • 2 min
When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.
24. Summer House
Aired 31 May 2012 • 3 min
Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.