Two and a Half Men — Season 7
Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.
About this season
Charlie's romantic past catches up to him, Alan's financial woes deepen, and Jake's teenage years bring a new level of mischief and mayhem.
Episodes (22)
1. 818-JKLPUZO
7.5Aired 21 September 2009 • 21 min
Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.
2. Whipped Unto the Third Generation
7.4Aired 28 September 2009 • 20 min
When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.
3. Mmm, Fish. Yum.
7.3Aired 5 October 2009 • 19 min
Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.
4. Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
7.3Aired 12 October 2009 • 20 min
Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.
5. For the Sake of the Child
7.2Aired 19 October 2009 • 21 min
Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.
6. Give Me Your Thumb
7.6Aired 2 November 2009 • 20 min
Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.
7. Untainted by Filth
7.5Aired 9 November 2009 • 22 min
Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.
8. Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
6.7Aired 16 November 2009 • 20 min
While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.
9. Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
7.5Aired 23 November 2009 • 21 min
While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.
10. That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
6.5Aired 7 December 2009 • 20 min
Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.
11. Warning, It's Dirty
7.5Aired 14 December 2009 • 19 min
Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.
12. Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
7.4Aired 11 January 2010 • 22 min
Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.
13. Yay, No Polyps!
6.4Aired 18 January 2010 • 20 min
Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.
14. Crude and Uncalled For
7.2Aired 1 February 2010 • 21 min
Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.
15. Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
6.1Aired 8 February 2010 • 22 min
Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.
16. Tinkle Like a Princess
6.1Aired 1 March 2010 • 21 min
Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.
17. I Found Your Moustache
5.9Aired 8 March 2010 • 21 min
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
18. Ixnay on the Oggie Day
6.6Aired 22 March 2010 • 21 min
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.
19. Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
6.5Aired 12 April 2010 • 18 min
Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.
20. I Called Him Magoo
6.3Aired 10 May 2010 • 21 min
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"
21. Gumby with a Pokey
7.6Aired 17 May 2010 • 21 min
Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.
22. This Is Not Gonna End Well
6.2Aired 24 May 2010 • 21 min
Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.