Two and a Half Men — Season 9
Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.
About this season
A new chapter begins when internet billionaire Walden Schmidt moves in, bringing fresh energy, wealth, and more absurd adventures to the Malibu household.
Episodes (24)
1. Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
4.8Aired 19 September 2011 • 21 min
Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.
2. People Who Love Peepholes
5.2Aired 26 September 2011 • 21 min
Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.
3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food
5.1Aired 3 October 2011 • 20 min
Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.
4. Nine Magic Fingers
4.4Aired 10 October 2011 • 21 min
Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.
5. A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
5.3Aired 17 October 2011 • 20 min
Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.
6. The Squat and Hover
5.0Aired 24 October 2011 • 21 min
Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.
7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
5.3Aired 31 October 2011 • 19 min
Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.
8. Thank You for the Intercourse
5.8Aired 7 November 2011 • 21 min
When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.
9. Frodo's Headshots
6.0Aired 14 November 2011 • 21 min
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.
10. A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
5.3Aired 21 November 2011 • 21 min
Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.
11. What a Lovely Landing Strip
5.5Aired 5 December 2011 • 20 min
Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.
12. One False Move, Zimbabwe!
5.0Aired 12 December 2011 • 21 min
Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
13. Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
5.2Aired 2 January 2012 • 20 min
Walden's ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.
14. A Possum on Chemo
5.5Aired 16 January 2012 • 20 min
Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.
15. The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
5.3Aired 6 February 2012 • 21 min
Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.
16. Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
5.7Aired 13 February 2012 • 20 min
Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.
17. Not in My Mouth!
4.2Aired 20 February 2012 • 19 min
Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.
18. The War Against Gingivitis
4.9Aired 27 February 2012 • 21 min
Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.
19. Palmdale, Ech
4.8Aired 19 March 2012 • 21 min
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
20. Grandma's Pie
4.6Aired 9 April 2012 • 21 min
Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.
21. Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
5.7Aired 16 April 2012 • 21 min
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey
22. Why We Gave Up Women
6.0Aired 30 April 2012 • 21 min
Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.
23. The Straw in My Donut Hole
5.2Aired 7 May 2012 • 21 min
Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved.
24. Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
5.7Aired 14 May 2012 • 21 min
Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.